Fan Mail Friday on Monday. What? I've been busy. *grin*

Okay, so guess what???  In not quiet 3 weeks I have 10 members to my pay site!  Amazing.  I realize at that rate I'm not exactly setting the world on fire, but it's more than I thought I'd have. I'm also getting an astounding number of emails, strangely enough they aren't from the ones who are paying to see my stuff.  Go figure?  

While we're talking about stats, I have received over 50 emails from 24 different individuals some of them more than once. And have managed to acquire with no effort on my part 4 pics of a particular body part standing at attention.  Not sure that I follow the logic that they think I want to see their stuff, but a couple of them have been rather impressive, not that I am in a position or of an inclination to do anything about it.  *grin*  

And without further ado, here are some of my fav's so far.  

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Just came across your pictures on the the website, and all I have to say is "WOW"!

I do have a few questions if you don't mind..

1-Are your feet ticklish?

2-Are you ticklish anywhere else?

3-Do you mind being tickled!

Look forward to seeing more!

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Hello I'm 38 m uk . Love your pics on the website! Your a stunning woman. You got such a pretty face and beautiful curves. Your much hotter than my 36 year old girlfriend.  I told val also that I find you much hotter than her! She has agreed to pay for me to join your site if guys at work agree that you are better looking and hotter than her. There is 20 guys in the office. Woud u like that? Woud u want to see a face pic of hers before contest? To see if u think you will win? X

WHO WOULD SAY THAT TO THEIR GIRLFRIEND?  Really?

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WOW,  Sexy pix of you, would you ever consider doing a photo shoot of yourself exercising in your house in a two piece or topless? That would be such a turn on, your new number 1 fan,

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Hi, I love your pictures on the website. I was wondering if you ever wear a slip under any of your skirts or dresses? Thanks

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Hey there cutie...I just thought I'd email u to tell u that ur pics on southerncharms are absolutely amazing! Your body is so HOTT and there are so many things I'd love to do to you? Will you be doing any pantyhose pictures? I'd love to see you in a pair of suntan pantyhose...yum!  Where are u from if you don't mind me asking? Hope to hear back from u soon. 

One thing to say....what-ever!  

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And my personal favorite so far....I've heard from him several times.....

I loive your beauty7 and fabulous bidy.I have a foot fetish and lve your sexyt feet and elrtoc toes/Can i apint your toes and suck them./Pleaae shiow them bare and uo cklose.

If you can decipher this, you are better than I am.  Had to show it to darling husband for help.  I told him, "I know typing is a skill and all, but is it really THAT much of a skill?"  Without batting an eye he read it to me and explained that he was typing one handed. Which made me ROTFLMAO.  Seriously. 

Identity Crisis or Entrepreneur?

or Entrepreneur?

I'll let you all decide.  *****Disclaimer: this may well be the post where I lose a lot of my followers.  It's a risk and I'm going to take it. If you feel the need to say something negative in response, can it and remove yourself as a follower because I don't want to hear it and haven't figured out how to only post comments that I approve.  I hope to keep you all so you can all enjoy the hilarity that will most likely ensue in the days to come********

Over the weekend I was explaining to Darling Husband that I had so many different email accounts and messenger accounts, both on AIM and yahoo! that I was starting to have trouble remembering who I was being at any given time and on which computer.

It started out innocently enough.  I had one email address.  Not counting the corporate one I had for work.  But then I went to work for myself so I had to get a second email address for work.  Okay, then I got an AIM for work from home stuff.  Then I got another email for this blog to keep everything anonymous.  I thought, you know, surely I won't need more emails than that and not any more messgener id's either.  But then I took another client so created another email just for that client so none of the communications would get confused or lost with my first client.  And along with that came a separate AIM as was required by the client.  But then I stopped doing that client.  And have since gotten a third client and created an email for them for just the same reason as I did the second.  Oh, shut it, it makes sense to me.....*grin*

Then Darling Husband and I created an online account to try and meet like minded (not so very churchy) friends which required another email address and yahoo msgr id.  Then, Darling Husband finally got me to commit to starting an adult webpage of myself.  It went live on the 5th of this month and I already have 5 paying members!  That required an email all to its own, of course, so people can email me what they think.  They've all be quite complimentary which is so very surprising because I'm so not that girl.

I'm a BBW (big, beautiful woman) but really I like to think of myself as fluffy and fabulous.  Anyway, in addition to the special email I also created yet another yahoo msgr under that name so that I can chat with those who are paying members.  Really?  I have paying members to my site?  Who'dathunkit?  Any way, if this keeps up, I'm thinking of starting a new feature called fan mail Fridays where I paste in emails from people who contact me.  You'd be surprised how funny some of them are.  I will remove all names to keep it from being mean.

So when I count it up, that's 6 email accounts and 4 messenger accounts between yahoo and AIM.  Too many?  Hmmmm.....

Let's Play a Game.....

So a couple of days ago I was bemoaning being bored and asked someone to send me a guest post.  Well,  someone did.  They emailed me and sent me the following guest post asking to remain anonymous.  So I thought maybe we could make a game of it.  I"ll post and you guys can see if you recognize the writer and writing style.  You can make guesses and the winner will receive some random knick knack of mine.  Do I have any idea what yet?  Nope, but I'll figure something appropriate out.  Sounds like fun right?  I'll run it through Friday 8/12 and if needed maybe give clues along the way if you guys are getting colder rather than warmer in your guesses.  I'll do so by updating this blog post, not necessarily in comments.  My comment responses will be just that.  My replies.  

Okay, ready, set....Go!  

The night was full of promise. My parents were out of town visiting relatives. The house was all mine. (Insert cheesy porn music) 

First things first, call the girlfriend, have her pick up a box of wine, a Tombstone pizza, thick crust supreme and a family pack, dig? While she was doing that, I would run to the Amish liquor store down the street and pick up a handle of "The Captain" and a keg, call my boys and their lady friends, invite them up for drinks and a dip in the pool, nippy skin style. Be here round' 1900. That will give me some time to "do my thing" with my lady friend, youknowwhatimsayin'? 

Fast forward to 1848. Lady friend and I start getting jiggy. Plenty of time for roll and a cuddle. Naked, sweaty bodies doin' it like they do on the discovery channel. (the doorbell rings) W.T.F? I said 1900, not 1853. Who...In...The...Hell...is interfering with my stiz, yo? I pondered letting whoever it was, sit outside for the remaining seven minutes. They were early and things were getting heated. (the doorbell rings again) Damn, get a clue. GO AWAY ! (the doorknob is jostled) Alright already. I'm coming, literally. Jump out of the sack, throw on the red underwear that were ripped off earlier, adorn the closest Tee and Speedo that I could find and trek upstai........man, my underwear are riding up something fierce. Either I gained ten pounds or they just feel weird because I was in a panic state. 

I open the door to find Aaron standing there, with case in tow. "Let's start drinking." he says. Well, alright then, "come on in", I say. "Tap the keg and get to it...........dude, something does not feel right." (loud, hysterical laughter comes from the basement where I left my first true love) 

Me: "Hey, what's so funny down there? It wasn't that bad, was it?"

Her: "No, Is there something wrong?"

Me: "No, why?"

Her: "Are you positive?"

Me: "Yes, why?"

Her: "Oh no reason. I seem to have lost my panties. I'll just wear yours instead."

Me: "Oka...........What?"

Her: "......"

Me: "What was that?"

Her: "......"

Me: "I'll be back in a minute, dude. My girl is wigging out."

As I walk back downstairs, I could not shake the uncomfortable goings on, downstairs. 

Me: "What is wrong?"

Her: "Oh nothing. Could you drop your pants?"

Me: "Ah yeah, you like it freaky, huh?"

Her: "Humor me."

As I finished untying my shorts, I noticed the reason why I felt some chaffing a few minutes prior. 

In my haste to get the door, I grabbed my clothes without paying much attention. And, as it turned out, I grabbed my girlfriends under garment, instead of my own. They were red, like mine. But mine were 30's in men's, hers were 3's, in women's. Hers were of the thong variety. I put hers on, backwards.

You can just imagine, who the "ass" of the joke was for the duration of that night. 

Ding!  Ding!  Ding!  We have a winn-ah!!  It was indeed ib at Habitual Hobbit who took pity on me in my time of extreme boredom and send me this gem of a guest post!!!  Thank you so much!!!  If you haven't stopped by to see his blog do so.  NOW!  

As for Vinny...I think I owe you a piece of my junk treasure.  Send me your address and I'll get something off in the mail to you.  Thanks for playing.  And thanks again to Habitual Hobbit.  It was way fun.  

Bored....

That's right, I'm bored.  As many times as I have scolded my children this summer not for saying they were bored but for acting like it.....I'm ashamed to admit it, but I am not simply bored in the sense that I've got nothing going on, I'm still working and all the usual stuff is still going on but I am in full on ennui (I do love that word!).  

It's like nothing excites me right now.  Which flat out sucks.  And I know that my blog is supposed to be entertaining you, but dammit I need someone to entertain me!  Maybe its just the summer thing and I've grown weary of having the children underfoot and on each other's nerves all the time.  

Things that I do when I'm bored: roll around naked in the grass in the back yard, read other blogs and wish that I had some witty retort or comment to add, stare at Darling Husband because I want him to do something to entertain me, troll youtube for amusing videos to break the monotony.  

I think drugs might help make things more amusing..... here is a video of how different drugs affect spiders and their web making for your enjoyment.   

Yes, I know this isn't anything new but I'm lacking inspiration.  So enjoy and please someone come to entertain me!!!!  Or send drugs.  Or send me a guest post.  Or nearly anything!