Monday, January 24, 2011

Packing iz hard and I haz awards.....

Thanks to Bruce at - Good Lord do I have to list them all????
Just kidding.  If you had 14 dozen I'd still list them.   You can locate Bruce DreamodelingBruceJohnsonJADIP and at his saltiest Evil Bruce/Stupid stuff I see and hear.  What?  I've forgotten one?  Seriously?  Right then....and The Guy Book.  Clearly I'm entirely too lazy this evening to list them by name but please, by all means check them all out as they are all different and sure to show you something you'll love.

Many thanks to Mrs. Hyde over at A Bitch Called Mom

Seriously you guys!  No idea I had that much funny in me.  But it makes me exceedingly happy that at least one other person on the planet, other than Darling Husband (and usually when I'm not meaning to be at all) thinks I am.  I think there are rules that go with these but not sure what they are yet.  I'll get back to it.  I swear!!! 

I would be remiss if I failed to mention that Mrs Hyde also has a second blog The Well Fed Spirit which is the kinder gentler Mrs. Hyde and completely worth the read.  I learn and feel something every time I see a new blog.  I'm so fortunate to have her in my blog world.  

As a follow up to last week's announcement that we are moving.  I spent the weekend packing some shit up.  Deciding what I couldn't live without and getting rid of the rest.  However I've learned a few things about myself along the way. 

1) Packing is hard.  Well, deciding which crap to keep and which to toss is hard.  Emotionally.  For me it is anyway.  I found things that I haven't looked at in a really long time.  Some great good wedding hanky and matchbook from the restaurant where we had our first meal as a married couple.  A lot of things that I wasn't expecting.....playing cards and poker chips that have long since been gone from the set,  a gag gift vibrator that a friend gave me on a vacation to NOLA (more on that later), sadly the batteries were long dead, some board games that we never bothered to open (Singing Bee anyone?).  And also a few things that were sad like the bookmark the funeral home made when my grandfather died.  Had a poem on the other side.  Anyway, the reason that packing is so hard for me emotionally is because apparently I have to relive every memory in order to decide whether to keep an object or not.  *Do I really NEED to explain why that is exhausting?*

2)*** Disclaimer*** guys if you are squeamish about Scarlet (as the monthly is known in our house) turn away now.....really, go to  Men's now.  Seriously.  Okay....for the rest of us.....I woke up Saturday morning with Scarlet.  I knew she was here because I dreamed that I was in a car wreck and pinned between two vehicles by my abdomen and when I woke up...I was still in pain.....fucking bitch.  Seriously guys...Men's Health..last warning.   Also learned something.  If you are trying to insert a tampon and drop in in the toilet because your sleepy ass fingers can't work it out properly, you can hang that shit up (no not on the wall like a trophy) but that tampon is never going to leave the applicator because it swells immediately upon touching the water.  3:30am science lesson that Bill Nye the Science Guy didn't feel the need to share with us.  PSA for the guys still with me, if you hear your woman, wife, lady friend, in the master bathroom cussing like a sailor in the middle of the night you can bet she dropped the damn plug in the potty.  

3) When you start taking shit off your walls it's sad.  It starts to feel like it isn't your house anymore.  It starts to look bare.  Yes, I know, we're going some place that is new and exciting and much better, but it makes it hard to sleep when all the 'what nots' (excellent synonym use by the way because I cannot spell tchotchkies) you've gathered over time and cast familiar shadows in the nightlight (yes, Darling Husband and I are nearly legally blind and find our way around at night by navigating the shadows - don't judge *grin*) are missing.  Packed away to be seen again soon, but missing temporarily nonetheless.  

Okay, that's probably enough, perhaps even way too much information for this evening.  I'll be back soon to comply with the rules of my awards and pass them on.  

Thank you all so much for reading this silly shit.  Oh yes, I've noticed.....there are 84 of you.  Of course that number my dwindle some after my lesson above, but I see you guys over there and it makes my heart all a flutter that you are interested enough to pay attention to what comes out of my mind and off my fingertips.  Please comment if you are so minded.  I love to hear from you all!  


  1. And I have no idea why I cannot make this post not look like whole long caption for the Mrs Hyde award. I've tried to edit like 5 times. I give up. This is what I get for not listing Bruce's blogs by name.

  2. Congratulations on your awards. The tampon facts was hilarious. And now thanks to you, some guys might actually have a better understanding of what exactly women have to go through!

  3. i saw my name and skipped to the end...

    no, not reallly, but i read it with my bad ey so i only half understand it... i understand the scarlet...yet another reason i love being a guy!

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  4. I haz congratulationz for you!

  5. duh- i forgot to say congrats!!!!

  6. That's okay, I like long captions, walks on the beach and vodka. Drumroll, please. DDDDDDDDDD I'm blind, too! And inserting plugs while half-asleep? Forget about it.

    Congrats to you, sweetie! Well-deserved on both counts!

    Please take me with you. I don't want to die in Baltimore.

    a bitch called mom

  7. that wasn't tmi at all! tmi is when you talk about the plop & gurgle your girlie goodies make when you're fishing that mess out on a really heavy scarlet day.

  8. Oh sweetie, I feel your pain about moving. In act feel pain in every part of my body from hauling boxes and stuff from one house to the other. But it will be worth it in the end. Congrats on the awards. Totally deserved and Darling Bruce just likes to make his ladies work hard.

  9. congrats and you it things like #2 that won you the LOL award that was to funny

  10. Like Dave Foley in Kids in the Hall, I have a positive attitude towards menstruation.

  11. Congrats! You deserve them both. I've been married long enough to not be squeamish about the whole menstruation thing. Not too squeamish, anyway.

  12. Meh, I thought it was easier to read this way. :) As for packing up and moving, I know the feeling: Shit you'll never use again, but you feel like you can't throw away. I have a whole box of letters I got from family and friends while on my two year mission that I will NEVER read again, but I can't seem to throw out. It's like their filled with love, and it feels wrong to get rid of that love.

  13. Congrats to you! Hope moving goes smooth and is over quickly. As for the 3:00 a.m. tampon. Been there, done that! Hysterectomy is a wonderful invention, hahahahahaha!

  14. OT - Thank you!!! Go Steelers!~~ (actually I don't care much one way or the other, I watch for the commercials)

    Thanks Emps! You rock. I want to be as funny as you some day.

    Bruce - Sorry I short changed you on the links. I'll go back and add the proper titles as soon as I'm done with this. Thank you for the Stylish award again. I think I see you already got an LOL award so I'll have to find another worthy soul in our incestuous little blog love group.

    Thank you Meri!!!

    Mrs. Hyde - You won't die in Baltimore but you may well freeze in Idaho. You can come visit in the summer time there will be plenty of room in the new house. Thank you for the LOL award!!!

    Sherilynn - good point....*giggle*

    Thank you Mynx!!!! You know I love you dearly. I guess you're about all done with the move now, right? I haven't even really started with the hard work yet....can't wait. At least I'm getting Scarlet out of the way for now. pssst - I sort of like the idea of being one of Bruce's sort of make us sound like a harem. *LOL*

    Becca, thanks for that. Sometimes the funny sneaks out when i'm not looking...*grin*

    Kev - would you ford across that womanly river and fetch herbal tea and Pamprin? *funny many* I loved Kids in the Hall.

    Vinny - Good to see you as always. Thanks for the congratulations and when I get around to passing them on you may find some more love coming your way (assuming no one has gotten you first).

    Paulsifer...OMG and pictures. Even if they are people I don't particularly know well or like all that much, throwing away pics seems wrong. And I'm the same as you about cards. Barely read them the first time, mostly to see if there was money in them....can't throw them away now.

    Barb!!! - Just loves me some you!! I'm glad to know that the 3am tampon doesn't just happen to me.

  15. Yep, I can relate. Cramps are a beotch.


  16. Congrats on the honors. Well deserved.

    Scientifically speaking, I only get all wigged out when I am reminded of the fact that my daughter will become a woman and ...........ugh, THE HORROR !!!!!

  17. I always throw things out and than later on I wish I hadn't done it.
    Never heard of Scarlet, but I do know Aunt Flo.

  18. you were close. tchotchke or tshatshke, depending whether or not you're going americanish or yiddish.

    you could have just said thingamabob, too.

    congrats on your awards. let me now state that i'm totes jealous of your legions of fans because i have less and just lost one.

  19. Joyproject - they are but it's al part of it, right? *grin*

    Ib - I live with that knowledge daily. My daughter is 10 1/2 and it will be here sooner than I wish.

    Ruth - I have always been that way. I think I get it from my grandmother,she was a 'hoarder' before there was a title for it. Her motto was, 'you never know when you might need it'. I'm trying to break the cycle. *rolls eyes at silly self* Because I'm not taking ALL of my crap cross way, no how.

    Steph, glad to know that I was close. Big fan of proper synonym use to get out of the spelling situation. Usually I'm a pretty good speller. Don't know that you really have anything to be jealous of. Yes, I have 84 followers and love every one of them, but I bet you'll be surpassing me again before you know it.