Monday, December 6, 2010

You need my WHAT?

I’ve managed to go and get myself a really craptastic cold and cough.  The cough is bronchitis and the bronchitis is the reason I don’t smoke any more.  I’m blaming the school system and the parents who send their sick children to school.  Said children then infect my children with germs which they thoughtfully bring home to me.  My nose is simultaneously stopped up and running although I’ve never quite worked out how it can do both at the same time.  I’m certain my head is going to explode due to the pressure inside and when I cough I sound like a barking seal.  Lovely, isn’t it?  
But all of that isn’t the reason for my post today, well, not exactly.  You see I dragged my spectacularly craptastic feeling ass out of bed today and I went to the local Wally world.  Even on my worst day I can go to the Wally world and feel a bit better about myself in comparison to the rest of my local humanity.  You all do it...don’t judge.  Anyway, once at the Wally World I make my way to the cold and flu medicine aisle.  I decide that I need some multi-symptom maximum relief, knock this shit out, kind of medicine.  You know, the type that is chock full of pseudophedrine and like 10% alcohol?  Yes, I know that really doesn’t exist but if you take enough Nyquil and Sudafed multi-symptom you get the same effect.  
So I get my card for my Sudafed (because of course they don’t sell it over the counter any more, you have to go to the pharmacy counter and sign for it) and my bottle of Cherry Nyquil and stand in line.  And stand in line.  And stand in line.  Seriously it really took that long.  When I finally get to the counter the girl starts looking at me really oddly.  I had her my Sudafed card and my Nyquil.  She calls her manager over.  
Oh goody.  This is where the fun part starts.  She whispers to her manager while looking at me out of the corner of her eye like I am some jacked up meth-head with my bloodshot eyes, rudolph red fucking nose and my seal cough.  To me it seemed like it should have been plenty evident that I was sick.  But no, the manager asks me....‘Ma’am (first mistake - I’m nearly 40 but damn) what do you need this for?”  I didn’t say anything for a few moments because I was pretty sure I was hallucinating.  Who would ask that?  After searching my mind I came up with an appropriate response....”Excuse me?”  
“The medicine, why do you need it?” the manager who might have been 23 asks me.  At this point I’m thinking of a dozen different answers (all of them sarcastic) and trying not to go all redneck white chick on this little girl.  My response was a perfectly timed and mightily powerful sneeze that I didn’t bother covering.  “I’m sick.”  Judging from the look on their face you would have thought that I had infected them with one of those zombie viruses. 
Still eyeing me rather suspiciously, the clerk rings up my order.  I can hear the people behind me getting irritable, shifting their weight from one foot to another as they stand in line, waiting.  So before taking my money she brings out the psuedophedrine clipboard and tells me to fill it out.  Which I do. I print and sign my name and write down my Driver’s License number.  Then the little bitch asks to see my license.  WHAT???  I’m buying cold medicine for crying in the rain!  So I take a deep breath and begin to dig in my purse.  I realize at that point that my license is in my coat pocket on the peg at home.  I tell her that and she informs me that she cannot sell me the Sudafed or the Nyquil because I don’t have it.  At this point I am about 2 seconds from screaming at the top of my lungs and going over the counter to throttle her.  The only thing that stopped me was the idea that my cold would feel so much worse sitting in the pokey than in my warm bed surrounded by puffy pillows.  Not to mention I was afraid that if I caused a scene it would confirm for them that I indeed was a criminal set to start my own meth lab with a single box of Sudafed while getting drunk on Nyquil. 
For the record I have neither the recipe for making meth or the inclination to do so and I resented the hell out of the fact that this little flucktard who couldn’t have been more than 19 years old and her ‘I’m in my first managerial role, position of power and someone shoved a large stick up my ass manager’ were denying me relief from my cold symptoms.  Realizing this was not a battle I would win, I sighed heavily and hissed “Fine” and stalked off.  
I did get relief for my cold symptoms, by the way.  From my local pharmacy where they actually sort of know me and are pretty sure that my plus size self is a lot more interested in cooking food than cooking meth.  I’m actually feeling better than I have in a couple of days but that it probably because I’m wired on psuedophedrine and drunk on Nyquil.  Yeah, right....

I know that the lovely ladies working at the Wally World are just doing their job and it is law because of the war on drugs.  And I have to show my ID at my kids' elementary school to help keep them safe.  But it seems like every time we turn around we have to present our  photo for something else.  I suppose I should offer my apologies, this incident today made my inner liberal show.  It really shouldn't be this hard to do the easy stuff.  

What's your take?


  1. It is getting ridiculous for the honest American to do anything without some kind of harassment. It's no wonder people get all pissy and crabby when there's even more measures to stop terrorism. As for cold and cough medicine, why should employees at Wally World and such places become drug abuse police? If anyone is stupid enough to get hooked on that gross tasting crap then let them. As long as the supply and demand is there for the sick, let them get stoned. It's more expensive than a cheap bottle of booze isn't it?

  2. the problem is we are allowing the scare tactics of what ever the scare of the day is rule our world. instead of logic we get zero tolerance and along with that...abject stupidity...


    stupid stuff i see and hear
    bruce johnson jadip

  3. Ok, I'm just gonna throw this out there and HOPE you don't go back there and kill anyone. I, too, work at Wally World...also known as Hell-Mart and I'm a customer service manager. (here comes the part that's gonna make you wanna do murder) They could have sold you the medicine. They were just being ass-hats. Next time, come to MY store...I'll handle this!

  4. It's a sad situation that as long as the authorities choose to react to situations rather than take viable, proactive steps, the measures they do take are only going to get harsher on the honest, law-abiding members of society.

  5. I will never forget the first time I got carded in line at a grocery store to buy nyquil tablets. I was so naive. I had no idea one could even cook meth out of cold medicine. I was shocked but whatever...I gave them my ID. I also love that at the bottom of the reciept it told me how much pseudophedrine I had purchased and how much more I could that day. Come on!

    Glad that you got relief and hope you feel better soon!

  6. I can so agree with you. A few years I was in Georgia for Christmas and needed some Sudafed and they wouldn't sell it to me because I did not have a Georgia DL. I was like I don't have one because I live in freaking Texas you dumbass.

  7. I bought Nyquil just a few months ago (summer colds/allergies whatever) and I was not carded. I wasn't even aware that they were doing that now. What rock have I been living under? Teenagers/young adults have been "sipping syrup" (there's a song about it, I shit you not) for years now, but they just got the bright idea to start carding?
    I'm sorry this happened to you when you were feeling bad, but you handled it with grace. Not sure how I would have reacted.

  8. One day I tried to buy some Mucinex at Wally World and my license was expired so I didn't get to buy it. Luckily my husband was with my and he was OK.
    How stupid. Yes, I needed to renew, but how could you not know it was me?
    Now, I can't even buy more than one medicine at a time. I might be making meth with a box of dayquil and a box of nyquil.

  9. Thanks for the comments! Shortly after my post I went to bed. I have a new slogan for Nyquil now, the drippy nose, stuffy nose, head feels like it's going to explode, sweet baby carrots if I don't get some sleep soon I may kill someone, medicine.

    @ Barb, I don't know. Maybe they were undercover DEA? If you know me long enough you'll realize I can find a conspiracy under every bush- no pun intended. (rolls eyes @ silly self)

    @Bruce - Yet another reason that like my blog twin Mrs. Hyde I really have low tolerance for stupid. Especially when the stupid reaches the highest levels of our government. Sounds like you are of the same opinion. BTW, congrats on getting yourself banned in the UAE. Yes, I follow even if I don't always comment. Keep up the good work!

    @Vickie - yep, that's a bit of information I could have gone to my grave not knowing. I was hoping to save a few $$$ by getting my meds at the Wal-mart but considering the hassle, I won't bother again. I love the Wal-mart for most things, but I'll be avoiding 'that' Wal-mart (it's one of 3 nearby) for my cold and flu needs going forward. Azzhats....

    @Vinny - I agree. That is why this whole episode sparked my liberal leaning tendencies. I am an honest american who has a cold. If you are going to target someone at the store level for possible meth production you should at least make your profile consistent. That way you'll know that me and others like me really don't fit the bill.

    @Jewels- I'm feeling it. I was dimly aware of the fact that they were doing that now because the medicines that work best for me are now only cards on the shelf, but I had never experienced it for myself until yesterday. I kept expecting some alarm to go off and a recorded voice come over the loud speaker "Alert...Meth Head....Alert!" LOL

    @Oilfield, I'm so feeling your pain. Honestly, I would expect a photo ID to be sufficient for that where ever it is from. Flucktards!

    @Mrs. Hyde - I think you are extending me too much consideration. I didn't feel very flucking graceful on my way out. I am pretty sure that steam was coming out of my ears. I may have even shoved some little old ladies and small children on my way out of the store. And as far as you not getting carded....Clearly you are more respectable looking than I am.

    @Ruth - I had no idea that Mucinex had the offending ingredient in it also. I see how you work you shady lady. Driver's license expired, trying to buy a decongestant. No wonder you are limited to one box a day. *wink*

  10. They card for Mucinex? I know that's not even part of the post at all, but what the fuck? Do they card for aspirin too?

    visions unto myself

  11. if you want to buy anything with pseudoephedrine, they do
    We are all going to be making meth labs and we must be tracked
    up next- drain cleaner

  12. And this is exactly why I would never live in the U.S.

    Talk about over-reacting..

  13. wow, i am sitting here and wondering what i might have to go through to get some medicine for the cold someone was lucky enough to give to me... crap i hope i have my i.d. (rolls eyes)

    check out my blog @

  14. I was going to start out my bit by humorously agreeing with those who enact said laws but I just couldn't sink to that level of assholeness. The decent portion of our society will always get the shaft because of the idiotards that find out such things like, how to make meth using "over the counter" sinus and cold medicine. I'm optimistic that it will get much worse before it gets much worse.

  15. Kara - keep your ID on you just in case. If not you may be asked to sign away your first born.

    Uninspired - I do love my country but the Powers That Be (ptb's) do tend to overreact.

    Amber - same advice I gave Kara, keep your id with you.

    ib - so glad you found my blog!! I always get excited when I see new faces on my comments! Welcome. I love the much worse before it gets much worse.