Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Slutting About

So, guess what I just found?  And old pack of condoms and a flat of birth control pills.  Wow.  Where to begin with this.  I never promised it would be chronologically accurate.   Right, I remember I promised to hold the mirror up to my bad behavior without flinching.  Please, those of you who are still actually reading and following the story, understand that although I’m not flinching, I’m not actually bragging either.  
When I turned 20 I started going through what I like to refer to as my ‘slut phase’.  I was that girl that all the girls hated and all the guys wanted to be around (in case it was their turn).  I was easy, sleazy, and only looking for a good time.  It wasn’t part of what I thought of as ‘normal‘ behavior for me although repetition would suggest that it became that way.  A short history lesson may be in order so you understand.  
Prior to this, I was a church going, Sunday School Teaching, non-drinking, sensible girl.  You see, I got married 10 days after I turned 18 which was 2 months before I graduated high school (and I wasn’t even pregnant!).  So, what were you thinking, you ask?  All I can figure is that I had super low self esteem and when this guy said he loved me, I was terrified that no one else ever would.   Long story short, it lasted 1 year and 11 months.  I was done.  I moved out, and never looked back.    
That isn’t what this blog is about.  From the time I left my husband I was on a quest.  I felt like I was taking control of my sex life.  Not by abstaining, but the opposite.  If it was male and reasonably attractive, I fucked it.  And I kept track of the number for a while and could list them in order by name. (AlthoughI’ve long since forgotten that statistic)  If I found myself in a situation with a guy who was just a friend and we had no better way to pass the time....you see where this is going...sport fucking  It became my favorite pass time.  If it was good, we might have another go sometime, if it wasn’t - eh, not so much.  
I think the bulk of this phase lasted about 18 months.  I was nearing the end of it when I met Darling Husband.  I could have easily stopped my slutting about and settled down with him, but did I mention he was a male stripper?  Right.  He wasn’t about stopping his slutting around at that point.  It made for a bit of a rocky relationship.  He maintains that I was always his ‘main squeeze’ but I guess when you have that much pussy to choose from on a nightly basis, it’s like being a kid in a candy store.  You can’t turn it away.  
This put me in a position of spite fucking (which is completely different from sport fucking). Because I’ll be damned if I was going to be the monogamous girlfriend while he had me and all the other he wanted.  I was no longer fucking around with guys just for the fun of it (sport fucking).  I was doing it because I was hoping to hurt him as much as he was hurting me.  I know, it must sound like a terribly destructive relationship to those of you who are well-balanced and completely centered in healthy relationships.  In truth it was destructive and we should have walked away from each other when we realized that we weren’t on the same page with what we wanted from a relationship.  The caveat was that once we were together, we didn’t know how to NOT be together anymore.  So we continued hurting each other for a long time.  But there will be more of that later, for now, it’s enough that I was a slut and so was he.  So glad we came out on the other side of that.  I think I can toss these. *grin*


  1. Its really hard to look back at myself in the harsh light of reality and call a spade a spade. Or a slut a slut as the case may be. But if the shoe fits....

  2. So open and honest. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Wow! Glad you came out OK on the other side! Thanks for sharing.

  4. Great post! I never thought about "spite fucking" or "sport fucking" but I love the expressions! I'm sure I've done both and will continue !

  5. SSW, so glad you approve. I'm not even sure if those terms are on urban dictionary.com. Hmmm...I may have to look that up.