|This isn't really where I'm going, just thought it worked with the theme of 'retreat'|
I find that I can only spend a short period of time in my metaphorical ‘junk trunk’ at once. Apparently, I lack stamina for the hard emotional stuff. *sigh* This weekend marks the annual women’s retreat for our church and I find myself torn between guilt and excitement. I love the opportunity to get away from my family and spend time with my friends and God. For fun, I looked up the word retreat at Dictionary.com.
By far, my favorite definition was “an asylum, as for the insane”. I have never heard the word retreat used this way. Hmmm...would you call Arkham Asylum from the Batman comics a retreat? (yes, I just showed my inner geek) Is it insane to go away with a bunch of women from the church? Maybe. Will it lead to craziness? Perhaps. That’s like the question, ‘what’s the difference between religion and cult?’ and the answer is ‘it depends on whether you are on the inside or the outside of it’. It’s sure to be interesting either way.
We usually hear the word retreat in the sense of the military making a withdrawal, as in “the forced or strategic withdrawal of an army or an armed force before an enemy”. As women we have a lot of slings and arrows that we deal with in our daily lives. Some of us are single, some have significant others, families, jobs and other external pressures and stressors. However, for most of us we don’t retreat because we don’t want to admit defeat or even give in to the fact that these things begin to wear us down. And some of us have a hard time with the concept that we can go away and our lives and loved ones will be able to cope without us.
As a mom and wife I have guilt about leaving the family. Not that Darling Husband can’t take care of them, he’s quite capable. He was the stay at home parent with our two boys while I worked outside of the home. I just never want to leave them. Regardless of how much I may ‘need‘ this little get away they are like air to me. Being close to them makes me feel like all is right with the world and reminds me how far I’ve come in my evolution as a person.
The other reason for the guilt is that Sunday is Darling Husband’s birthday. I wasn’t going to go on the women’s retreat so that I would be with him for his birthday weekend. But over the last 3 months at least half a dozen different women have asked me, in front of him, if I was going on the retreat. I explained each time that I was going to pass because of his birthday and finally last week after one last phone call imploring me to attend, Darling Husband gave up and insisted that I go. His words and I quote “Go! Damn, I can’t stand up to that female pack mentality any longer!”
So, now that I have his blessing (insistence) I’m starting to get excited about it. It usually is a great time. But I have much to do, packing and baking, and errands..oh my!