Sunday, April 17, 2011

M is for Missionaries

Apparently being the town lushes has its perks.  We've been visited by the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints and the Assemblies of God so far.  In each case I accepted their literature politely although I don't believe that I'll be attending any of their 'churches'  

Let's look at them in order of fucked-upness in my opinion.  By the way, this is firmly tongue in cheek, I have no desire to debate religion with anyone, and am fully aware that even the some of the most basic Christian tenets are likely full of crap.  Personally, I think some of my friends who practice paganism and wicca may have it more close to right than most of us. 

So the Jehova's witness...where to even begin.  I've been raised to believe that heaven is a really big place.  Big enough in fact to accomodate all who believe and are saved by the grace of God and all that. The JH believe that there is room in heaven for 144,000. And, and, and....135,000 have already been chosen.  The rest who will be chosen whenever they are chosen must live this perfect life in comparison to everyone else or something like that.  So 9,000 slots left in heaven for all the rest of humanity.  I'm not sure I'm liking the odds of that lottery.  

The Mormon's (LDS-ers) believe in a heaven that is big enough for everyone but they draw some sort of odd distinction between Immortality and Eternal Life.  I went to the FAQ page, and it says that our purpose of life on this earth is to teach us (so far so good) and prepare us, that was along with our families might, live with the Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ eternally.  Might?  So we could have a fighting chance?  You think?  and then when you read farther down 'your spirit doesn't die, got to the spirit world where you may be with loved ones who have passed on.  Wait, just a second ago we are told that our purpose is to prepare us that along with our families we might live with our love ones.  But now you're saying that could not be the case?   Ehhhh, I don't know.  

The Assemblies of God are Christians who are very fundamental in their beliefs.  My problem with them is not what happens when you die, it's their attitude about women. The ones that I have experienced expect women to not have piercings, wear jewelry or makeup or pants.  There are Biblical references for all of these things, but clearly modesty has never been my thing (reference the H post and rack award).  

We'll find a nice church where we fit in.  At some point.  Really all religion is a way to control the masses.  And I moved to Idaho to not be controlled.  Hmmmm....


  1. Hehe, you picked the wrong state... If Idaho got any more religious, we'd be considered American Mecca.

    I'm a big fan of women not wearing pants either. I'm a leg man myself. :)

  2. well, my vote would be for paganism, obvs. but it kind of goes against the whole god and jesus thing. so you might not like that.

  3. god wants us to believe...
    that is my belief.

    my sister and mom are Jehovahs witness..

    long story...

    good luck but God will find you where he wants you to be...

  4. My advice is to find a church that drinks, maybe try Lutheran. If that fails then find a bar with a religious bar tender, two birds with one stone.

  5. Lost - I'm getting that, shall we all bow to the east at twilight or something you think? If you prefer skirts just because you're a leg man, you get a pass.

    Yes, Steph - I know your vote is for paganism and I think you are closer to right on more things than most people give you credit for.

    Bruce - thank you for not thinking that I was slamming your mom and sister. Not my intent it's just that sometimes the evil Torystellar has to comment on things that strike me as fucked up. JW's do.

    Funny OT - two birds with one stone indeed!!! LOL!! Actually we were considering visiting the Lutheran church where our 8 year old has cub scouts.

  6. no worries is their religion not mine and i know you meant nothing ill...

    i have more issues with than most...

    but they are good people, and that is what they believe...

  7. What, skirts? Yeah, that's totally what I meant. I was going for more of the 'bottomless' look...

  8. My Hubby is Christian and he does NOT like it when they(other religions) come door knocking at our door.

    btw, Your fishies were all stuck in one corner. I fed them, all but three came out and now they are all in that corner again.. LOL!

  9. You are so nice. I send those religious people packing. If I want to go to church, I know right where they are.
    Almost everyone in town goes to one church or another. Some my family is a bunch of heathens.

  10. I'm a Christian - but I don't do organised an old pastor said to me "there's a book read it...this first half is full of myths....and the last chapter is plain crazy...but in the middle... divine"

  11. Religion is such a great post topic!
    I'm a Buddhist.
    That being said...I have tried to read the Bible cover to cover - almost have but not quite. I want to read to see what all the intrigue is about.

    I love debating God - partly because there is no correct answer - it's all about personal perceptions and beliefs.

    The only thing I frown upon is when one religious group puts down another group or an individual that walks to their own drumbeat!

    I talk to God (aka the Universe) all the time - I don't need to go into an establishment made by man to worship a god as set forth according to another mere mortal.

    Unfortunately, religion is also the root of all evil - it's amazing what humans will do in the name of a god.

    Great post!

    Come by my site and pick up a little treat I have for you!