Thursday, April 7, 2011

F is for Frugal and Fuck...or Fuck and Frugal?

I just knew when the blog challenge started that my F day would be 'Fuck'.  However, today dawned and the word 'frugal' seems appropriate.  I guess the challenge here is how to create a blog post that successfully combines frugal and fuck without sounding like a dime store prostitute.  Hmmmmm...

First let me just tell you that I love the f-bomb.  I adore the word fuck.  Mostly because it is so versatile.  It can be used as a verb..."fuck me...fuck me hard!!".  It can be used as an adjective..."he's just a fucking asshat".  It can be used as an exclaimation...."fuck me!"  It can be used as either an invitation or a statement of contempt...."fuck you!"  I really could go on and on. 

Usually I avoid using it in conversation because when you say it a lot it tends to lose impact.  And Darling Husband says when I use it too much out of context..."I love when you fuck me..." that it can become unflattering.  Hmph....who knew?  

Anyway, today I had a new experience in the Wal-Mart.  That's right, I said the evil empire known as wally world.  We live like 30 minutes from the nearest main grocery chains (including Wal-Mart) so we don't go there regularly because it is impractical.  

So today was payday and we went for restocking.  However, this time was different.  I went there armed with other store's circulars, and coupons.  I loaded up 2 carts full to overflowing.  Let me ask you, you know that person in front of you in the check out lane?  The one who has flyers (yes, plural) and is asking the cashier to price match on several different items, and a blue fucking million coupons?  Yep, that was me today.  

I used to be a grocery store cashier. I hated those people and I never, ever wanted to be one of them for sure!  However today, I was that lady.  And can I tell you, when I walked out of there, after pressing other store's 'store coupons' on them, making them match the price on 4 different stores circulars (appx 25 different items), and my manufacturer's coupons, I was $50 to the good.  Well, it cost me $50 less anyway.  

I walked out of there with a coupon/savings high!!  I told Darling Husband that I felt like that experience gave me full on 'lady wood'.  Oh yeah, I was in the mood. Increased heart rate, shortness of breath the whole thing....I would have done him right there in the parking lot in the minivan if we hadn't had the 6 year old with us.  (What?  I'm not completely deplorable...only mostly) 

Anyway, I want to fucking take this fucking opportunity to thank you all for continuing to follow the stuff that I put out here.  I really fucking love the lot of you!!!  No lie!!  (see how too much fucking loses the impact??)


  1. My ex wife used to do that all the time.

    We'd go to a store like albertsons back when double coupons meant something. She subscribed to some online "when to shop" club. Put hours of research into it. Scoured the store for 2 1/2 hours (with me. UGH) and when it was all said and done, her $300 grocery bill was only $125.

    Awesome, right? Then I pointed out all the extra time, the subscription to the online thing, all the coupon clipping, and driving an extra distance to shop at the albertsons instead of our regular nearby store.

    I asked her: "Factor all that in, and how much did you really save?"

    Her response? The other F-topic of yours. :)

  2. Greetings,
    Tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, here. You may notice my very own award 'The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award', is sitting proudly on the side of your site :)
    Anyway, I note that you seem to be getting into this blogging challenge about learning the alphabet or something like that. I know, what the 'F' am I talking about?
    Anyway, being a really well behaved dog, I don't normally fucking swear. However, I fucking read your fucking funny F posting and I think you are really awesome :)
    Pawsitive and pawesome wishes, your way, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star!
    WTF? Arf!, arf! :)

  3. hmm. so couponing gives you lady wood? i may have to try some hardcore couponing soon.

  4. ...there is no high like getting the best of the empire which is Wally World:)


  5. I am so sorry sweetie-I want to read your posts SOO badly but I cannot read this font-it's all broken up for some reason when I see it! :(

  6. YAY! I can read it now! :-) I love "fuck"! I especially love any occasion to say/instruct "Fuck Me Hard" haha.

    Your post reminded me of "extreme couponing" on TLC-I watched last night and it's insane what you can save if you really dedicate yourself to hitting the sales with coupons!

  7. fuckity fuck fuck...

    frugal use of the word fuck is for the fucking best...

    fuck that...

  8. Fucking wonderful post. I love getting a bargain.