Thursday, January 6, 2011

Worst...song...ever

I have found possibly the most ridiculous song to make it to the top of the US and Canada music charts in, well maybe forever.  I came upon this as I do most things in the most roundabout way possible.  There I was last night, cruising the interwebs, and Darling Husband mentioned the death of Jerry Rafferty - for those who need help he did  the song Baker Street.  Which is a great tune in my opinion but I didn’t get there immediately with the name recognition.  
Rather than go directly to Google or YouTube (because I try to do some mental aerobics  from time to time) I started casting about in my mind for the connection.  I considered the ‘Nothing from Nothing’ song and realized that wasn’t Jerry Rafferty and wondered if it was Mac Davis (told you I got there on roundabout, stay with me...).  So I looked up the ‘Nothing from Nothing’ song and found that it was done by Billy Preston.  So clearly not Mac Davis.  Mind you I’m talking all this through out loud while Darling Husband is working.  And I wasted no time telling him how disappointed I was that he didn’t have those answers right on the top of his head ready for me too.  In all honesty, he should get some kind of award for keeping up with the random thoughts that exit my mouth on a regular basis.  I’m rabbit trailing again, someone reel me back in.  
All this made me wonder why the name Mac Davis was floating around in my head at all.  Casting about in my memory a little more and I realized that he had a hit song in the early 70s (yes, I know, I’m dating myself) called...wait for it....”Baby, Don’t get Hooked on Me”.  I’m not quite that old so it was probably mid or late-seventies when I saw him do it on the Muppet Show, sitting on a fish hook with Miss Piggy. 
YouTube produced a video with Lyrics for your viewing and listening pleasure.  If you are young or unfamiliar please take the couple of minutes, it’s a pretty short song.  



Because I was so young when it came out all I remembered was that pleading chorus and no real idea what the song was about.  When I watched the above YouTube last night I nearly fell out of my chair with laughter. 
Let’s break down the lyrics...
Girl you're getting that look in your eyes
And it's starting to worry me
I ain't ready for no family ties
Nobody's gonna hurry me - Translation: I’m a player, I like being a player and I’m going to play until I am all played out. 

Just keep it friendly girl
'Cause I don't want to leave
Don't start clinging to me girl
'Cause I can't breathe - Translation: As long as you want to be fuck buddies then we’re all good, but if you’re looking for something more, hate that for you.

Baby, baby don't get hooked on me
Baby, baby don't get hooked on me
'Cause I'll just use you then I'll set you free
Baby, baby don't get hooked on me - Translation:  Don’t fall in love with me because I’m using you for your sex and when I fine another or get bored I’ll send your ass packing.
Girl you're a hot blooded woman child
And it's warm where you're touching me
But I can tell by your trembling smile
You're seeing way too much in me - Translation: I love having you in my bed and wherever else, because you are hot shit and I love when you ______(I have something for that but it really is better suited for Mynx's Secret Pleasures page), but I am a sex addict and I’ll never be the man you think I am or want me to be. 

Girl don't let your life get tangled up with mine
'Cause I'll just leave you
I can't take no clinging vine - Translation: I have commitment issues and there’s too much nookie in the world for me to be stuck with yours forever. 

And chorus to the end.  
This song is like a dear Jane letter warning the females that he is the way he is and just can’t help it because of course back then no one went to therapy and we didn’t have terms for sex addiction, narcissistic tendencies or fear of commitment issues.  And he had the audacity to make it *sound* like a love song.  WTF?  
In all honestly, if I’m going to be warned of a guy’s philandering nature in a song I’d just as soon it be along the lines of Robert Palmer (you know he really meant Addicted to sex) or Naughty Naughty by John Parr or even have Naughty by Nature rap to me about the never ending quest for OPP.  
By the way, he didn’t just sing this song, he also composed it. Same man who wrote and sang the song ‘Lord, It’s Hard to Be Humble’ (if you are sufficiently interested youtube it you’ll find a pattern here).   
I hope you find it as ridiculous and entertaining as I did last night. Enjoy, happy Thursday everyone. 





26 comments:

  1. What's that? That my mind is a veritable mine field of useless information?

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  2. You think if he remixed that song today & made a video for it, he'd have bikini clad models poppin' their booties & pole dancing? I think he would. I think that's exactly how he'd roll.

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  3. i love your interpertation of the lyrics but i actually love this song

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  4. Haha I love your random thought process because its much like mine. Especially when I'm trying to sleep. I go from thinking about work to thinking about something that made me mad 10 years ago to thinking about what I have to get at the grocery store all in a matter of minutes.

    That song is hiliarous. I agree with Vinny.

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  5. I always loved Mac Davis, so I guess I'm dating myself, too. I always felt so bad for him when Glen Campbell stole his wife. I'm glad she went on to dump his ass, too. :) I love these flashes from the past in posts.

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  6. HAHAHA! I think I have to agree that that truly is a terrible song. But so funny at the same time. I like it because it's so...true! lol and funny.

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  7. Vinny, I bet he would rock it out that way but he'd have to get some sort of funky back beat. And they'd probably have to move his walker to give him a lap dance.

    Becca - I meant no offense in my interpretation but I think it must be the first time I've heard the song since I was a kid and it struck me as really absurd. Don't mean to violate anything that holds a spot in your heart.

    JM - it makes me feel better that my mind is not the only one that takes random detours.

    Krissy - No dissing of Mac intended....well maybe a little just because it struck me as such a really awful song...personal tastes and all that I hope you can forgive me.

    Corey - so glad you saw the humor in it. Like I said I had to listen to it 3 times last night and nearly fell out of my chair laughing each time.

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  8. OH Semi True...you're making me feel so old now. Mac Davis even had his own variety show on TV where he would let audience members give a topic and he would make up a song right there on the spot. He was kind of cute with that curly hair. Tv was so great back then.

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  9. No forgiveness necessary. It's funny to go back and look at things we thought were cool before technology and the times changed. I'm with Barb though. His curly headed self was cute back then.

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  10. Oh. My. God! I have never heard this song...and I cannot believe it's an actual song! Come on! I can understand getting to the top of Canada's charts-they are too polite to say it's horrible...but the US...really!?

    I laughed so hard but this song just about breaks my heart too...cause man have I been that woman! Ouch.

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  11. You down with OPP? Yeah you know me!

    I have never heard that song before either, but I'm kind of skeeved out that it actually says "Girl, it's warm where you're touching me"...

    hed www.hedabovewater.com

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  12. Barb, you can't be much older than me. I don't remember his variety show though. He wasn't bad to look at but that song just really put me off last night. The message....

    I'm glad we're still good Krissy

    Jewels, I've been that woman too, so maybe I was just over identifying. It was a real song and made it all the way to #1 on the charts. God help us all.

    Hed - I was particularly skeeved out by that line also and thought, who would really put that line in a song? Ewwww....

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  13. check out Jim Stafford *idon't like spiders and snakes* and *sneakysnake* and of course wild wood weed...

    loved this post...

    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy
    dreamodeling!

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  14. I love, love, love wild wood weed....er..uh..the song of course. LOL

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  15. Oh, I like your version of the song so much better! There is a similar song out now called Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz. You may have heard it. Here's the bridge: "And I know Karma's gonna get me back for being so cold. Like the big bad wolf I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone. If you fall for me I'm only gonna tear you apart. Told you from the start. I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart..." Apparently, it's acceptable to be an ass as long as you tell the woman up front.

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  16. Yeah me too..er uh I mean the song...

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  17. Yes, Mrs. Hyde apparently so. But damn, do you HAVE to make it sound like a love song?Not familiar with the Taio Cruz song, but now I'll have to YouTube it - thanks you've given me a project until bedtime. You know my mind just meanders here and there so I could be a while. Anyway the whole love song 'tone' of it is just wrong on so many levels. I'd rather have it dished out with hard core rock or rap or nearly ANYthing else! LOLOLOL

    Bruce you Rock! That is all.

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  18. LOL...so much for "honesty is the best policy"...I give Mac a gold star for being clear about his intentions...I'm just saying

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  19. I'm with ya, Chief! I am much happier when I know what the situation is right up front. :)

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  20. I love looking up lyrics to songs and this is one of the greats. All things considered, I'm not sure why we ever came up with "Narcissim," or "Commitment Issues" or "Sex Addiction." As far as this guy is concerned, I doubt any of these are really problems. Though I agree, it takes a pretty bold/assinine person to make his narrcissism into a love song.

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  21. your version is far superior, tory. and i think it's creepy, but i think most '70s ballads are borderline creepy.

    ALSO. opp is like the most ridiculous song ever. but i love it to bits. i had SUCH a crush on treach when i was growing up *swoon*

    ALSO ALSO. why is it okay for guys to have songs about playing and basically man-whoring themselves out, but less okay for girls? like 'promiscuous girl' by nelly furtado got tons of people all up in arms a few years ago. lame.

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  22. Steph you are absolutely right. I think I want to write a song called I'm a play-ah girl. Although I doubt I could make it seem authentic because I've been married for so long, but it's a thought.

    Paul, you are a psych major. You know why those terms were invented better than I do I'm sure.

    Granted he likely saw no issue with himself and like Dad says was giving himself a gold star for honestly, but still.

    and I do understand the benefit of knowing what you are getting into ahead of time...at least I do now, but that song wasn't issued as a warning 'Don't mess with me'...it was for after the fact. So glad that I had you in the sack but we're done now. Have a nice life.

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  25. Awesome post and LMFAO...it is so true...Love yr posts :-)

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