Worst...song...ever

I have found possibly the most ridiculous song to make it to the top of the US and Canada music charts in, well maybe forever.  I came upon this as I do most things in the most roundabout way possible.  There I was last night, cruising the interwebs, and Darling Husband mentioned the death of Jerry Rafferty - for those who need help he did  the song Baker Street.  Which is a great tune in my opinion but I didn’t get there immediately with the name recognition.  

Rather than go directly to Google or YouTube (because I try to do some mental aerobics  from time to time) I started casting about in my mind for the connection.  I considered the ‘Nothing from Nothing’ song and realized that wasn’t Jerry Rafferty and wondered if it was Mac Davis (told you I got there on roundabout, stay with me...).  So I looked up the ‘Nothing from Nothing’ song and found that it was done by Billy Preston.  So clearly not Mac Davis.  Mind you I’m talking all this through out loud while Darling Husband is working.  And I wasted no time telling him how disappointed I was that he didn’t have those answers right on the top of his head ready for me too.  In all honesty, he should get some kind of award for keeping up with the random thoughts that exit my mouth on a regular basis.  I’m rabbit trailing again, someone reel me back in.  

All this made me wonder why the name Mac Davis was floating around in my head at all.  Casting about in my memory a little more and I realized that he had a hit song in the early 70s (yes, I know, I’m dating myself) called...wait for it....”Baby, Don’t get Hooked on Me”.  I’m not quite that old so it was probably mid or late-seventies when I saw him do it on the Muppet Show, sitting on a fish hook with Miss Piggy. 

YouTube produced a video with Lyrics for your viewing and listening pleasure.  If you are young or unfamiliar please take the couple of minutes, it’s a pretty short song.  

Because I was so young when it came out all I remembered was that pleading chorus and no real idea what the song was about.  When I watched the above YouTube last night I nearly fell out of my chair with laughter. 

Let’s break down the lyrics...

Girl you're getting that look in your eyes

And it's starting to worry me

I ain't ready for no family ties

Nobody's gonna hurry me - Translation: I’m a player, I like being a player and I’m going to play until I am all played out. 

Just keep it friendly girl

'Cause I don't want to leave

Don't start clinging to me girl

'Cause I can't breathe - Translation: As long as you want to be fuck buddies then we’re all good, but if you’re looking for something more, hate that for you.

Baby, baby don't get hooked on me

Baby, baby don't get hooked on me

'Cause I'll just use you then I'll set you free

Baby, baby don't get hooked on me - Translation:  Don’t fall in love with me because I’m using you for your sex and when I fine another or get bored I’ll send your ass packing.

Girl you're a hot blooded woman child

And it's warm where you're touching me

But I can tell by your trembling smile

You're seeing way too much in me - Translation: I love having you in my bed and wherever else, because you are hot shit and I love when you ______(I have something for that but it really is better suited for Mynx's Secret Pleasures page), but I am a sex addict and I’ll never be the man you think I am or want me to be. 

Girl don't let your life get tangled up with mine

'Cause I'll just leave you

I can't take no clinging vine - Translation: I have commitment issues and there’s too much nookie in the world for me to be stuck with yours forever. 

And chorus to the end.  

This song is like a dear Jane letter warning the females that he is the way he is and just can’t help it because of course back then no one went to therapy and we didn’t have terms for sex addiction, narcissistic tendencies or fear of commitment issues.  And he had the audacity to make it *sound* like a love song.  WTF?  

In all honestly, if I’m going to be warned of a guy’s philandering nature in a song I’d just as soon it be along the lines of Robert Palmer (you know he really meant Addicted to sex) or Naughty Naughty by John Parr or even have Naughty by Nature rap to me about the never ending quest for OPP.  

By the way, he didn’t just sing this song, he also composed it. Same man who wrote and sang the song ‘Lord, It’s Hard to Be Humble’ (if you are sufficiently interested youtube it you’ll find a pattern here).   

I hope you find it as ridiculous and entertaining as I did last night. Enjoy, happy Thursday everyone.