Bonerdar

Bonerdar

We all know about radar and even gaydar, but how many of us know what bonerdar is?  You can try to look it up but I guarantee you won’t find it on dictionary.com or even wikipedia which means that I suspect Darling Husband made the term up but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a real thing.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  

So radar is something that most air traffic controllers use to monitor planes in the sky and that weathermen use to track storms and such.  At work most of us want to fly under the radar or above it but in general, stay off it in most cases.  Except when we want to be on it.  For example when I worked in the real world with real people I was always looking for the next promotion so when VIPs would visit the office I always asked myself how to GET on their radar.  Bit ridiculous really.  

Gaydar is the ability, whether natural or cultivated, to spot a gay man. It was cultivated in me when I was working in the hospitality industry.  That sounds way more glamourous than it was because the truth of the matter is I worked in the hotel’s fine dining restaurant.  But there were a fair amount of gay men that I worked with.  I had no clue until they invited me to a drag show after work one night.  OMG!  Best.  Time.  Ever.  The room service manager was actually one of the participants.  I’m digressing again, aren’t I?  I think we all understand the concept.    

Which leads me to bonerdar.....I know you’ve all been holding your collective breath.  You can exhale now.  I’m wondering now if it shouldn’t be hyphenated.  Hmmmm...Anyway, bonerdar is short for boner radar....the phenomenon that happens when your children can be completely otherwise occupied in another part of the house until mom and dad start fooling around.  You shut the bedroom door, or in the case of our poor crooked little house push it to, and block it with a clothes hamper, and sometime before you get done, either just getting started or in the middle of a stroke, there is a knock on the door or a little voice from the other side...”Mom?  Dad?   What’re you doing in there?”  I don’t think that there is a quicker way for a man to lose an erection save having cold water poured unexpectedly down your back or having the cat sneak up and try to box with your balls like they are a cat toy (again, whole ‘nother story).  

I have made no secret of the fact that I love having sex with my husband so we work it out as often as we can.  I think it’s fair to say that nearly half the time our best laid (hahahahaha no pun intended) plans go awry.  

Do you have a name for it. or shall we coin the term bonerdar forever more?  My ears are open and I’m anxious to hear from you all!