Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?

Okay so before you even get started with this blog watch the video please otherwise the rest won't make much sense.  This is Felicia Day in a video that spoofs people who play those online multi-player games.  *think World of Warcraft, Second Life, IMVU, RedLight Center/Utherverse*

I have loved Felicia Day ever since I saw her in Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog with Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion - created by Joss Whedon.  It's 42 minutes of musical tragicomedy awesomeness.  If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. You may have to see it more than once to catch all the funny.  But I am digressing...and badly....this isn't a Joss Whedon or Felicia Day fangirl post...no really....I mean it.

The reason I posted the video and and titled my blog thus, I have an avatar.  And she's beautiful.  Redheaded with a braid and a perfect figure.  Yes, I play in one of these virtual games.  I'm in RLC/Utherverse.  It seems really ridiculous when you try to explain it to other people who don't play like that.  But you choose a name for yourself and you make friends with other people, can develop relationships, have sex and I find myself continually surprised by the number of people who actually get married in the game.  

Once you pay your initial subscription fee to become a VIP member you can  do various things in the game to earn in game currency so you don't have to put real monies into it to support your video game habit.  Like have in game 'jobs'.  For example, when I first started the game I was a WG (working girl) which is a nice way of saying that I was a cyber ho.  LMAO, it paid really well but got old in a hurry.  But some people are DJs, like they set up muisc streams and do live DJing at events that people have in clubs that they own.  You an design and sell clothing or do deco (neither of which I have the patience or talent for). Now I am a model, I sell clothing and layouts (like homes) for a designer who treats me very well.  Now I don't have to spend real monies to support my gaming habit. See how that all works out.

It is a fun way to get away from stress but it can come with its own stress because not everyone realizes that there are people, real people, behind all those avatars.  You will meet some fantastic people and some that are real azzhats.  In general I've found that you get out of it as good as you give.  If you are generally nice and open minded it's a great experience.

So, before anyone leaves a comment that I have no idea how to delete about how I need to get a life, I just want to say that I have a life.  I do this because I choose to have more than one.  I'm going to put a link in here for anyone who is interested in checking this out for themselves.  Create a profile for yourself if you like.  It's a chance to escape and be whoever you fancy yourself to be in your head.  You can be a legend in your own mind.  LOL

If you do sign up and want to find me, I'm HGPrincessLexi_HKMT, but if you address me as Tory, I'll know how you know me.  Hope to see some of you online.

Loves, hugs and kisses
Tory

Ermagerd! I gotz a tumblr!!

Yeah, I know, promised lurid details about my live in boyfriend and both the magic and mayhem (not the good kind) that ensued.  But I'm taking a break from it.  It's my blog, I reserve the right to digress.  And digress I shall.

So my daughter is 13 and she's awesome and amazing, and way cooler than I could ever hope to be.  But that won't stop me from trying.  She spends a really amazing amount of time on this tumblr thing.  So I made my own tumblr account.  You can find it here - Tory tumbles for ya.... (showing my age with the Culture Club reference....did ya see what I did there? LOL @ sillyself).  I'm going to figure out how to link this to that....for when I make new posts but in the meantime you can follow me there and keep up with the randomness that is my mind.

So yeah, I guess this is a shameless self promotion plug.  Maybe it's my way to trying to ensure that there are actual grownups on tumblr too.  Nah, self promotion....definitely.  I only have 3 followers there and I'm lonely.

Vinny over at As Vinny C's It has one too and I'm already stalking following him there.  Find him on tumblr here - Vinny's tumblr.  Granted he hasn't posted there in like 3 months so I guess he'd better get on it now that I've outed him.  *giggling wildly*

Hope to see you all soon on tumblr..

.Loves and kisses.  Tory

Just Breathe

So you know that feeling?  When you have been underwater and you break the surface and expel a gust of air from the huge breath you've been holding and immediately suck in another huge lungful to relieve the uncomfortable pressure in your chest and fuel your brain cells with oxygen?  Sometimes the sensation leaves me dizzy and slightly disoriented.

At the end of April of this year I had that experience.  Metaphorically.  I had spend nearly a year 'under water' and once I started breathing normally again after I resurfaced I was disoriented and confused as to where the year could have gone.  Looking back on a lot of it has the slightly fuzzy quality and bright edges of a fever dream.  Some of the details have been lost in a haze of vodka shots and bong hits, but most remains painfully sharp in my mind's eye.

In the year that I was here but not, a kind of passive absence is how I think of it, I let everything that was previously important fall by the wayside.  I wasn't interested in working, my children were nearly neglected (not to the point that social services should have been involved - I made sure they were fed and had at least a vague awareness of where they were - but enough that they became scarily self sufficient), and I didn't take care of the necessary things that needed to happen just to keep the household running.  Sounds like depression, right?  Not exactly.  Sort of the opposite.  Infatuation.  

You see, in April of last year, I met someone. He has a name but since we are being all anonymous, we'll give him a nickname.  I've considered, asshole, dickhead, and douchebag.  Fucktard, cocksucker, motherfucker and sonofabitch.  But I am going to go with Twat Waffle or TW for short going forward.

Now, those of you who have been keeping up, yes, I'm married.  Answer to the next logical question: No I wasn't cheating.  You see my Darling Husband is secure enough in himself and our love that he just wanted me to be happy.  And in fairness, he seemed to fit well into our family.  He was handsome, frighteningly charming and played the role so well.  He helped us move, came to stay after my husband had elbow surgery to help around the house, we even gave him his own bedroom for when he came to stay.  And when he stayed he would get up and make pancakes for the kids before they left for school, take care of the yard and all the while was working some sort of magic on me because he made it seem like we were somehow 'connected'.  He got my corny jokes that normally only Darling Husband got, he made obscure references and when he went to explain them was pleasantly surprised that I already understood.

 He was also really young and really good in bed.  I know the young thing doesn't exactly go hand in hand with good in bed, but they go together in my mind because I felt like such a cougar.  And he was as attracted to me as I was to him regardless and maybe because of my age.  I didn't exactly seduce this innocent young man.  There was nothing innocent about him.  And I think that's part of what made it possible to fall under his influence so easily.  He seemed a lot closer to my age.   Once I found out his birth year I forbade him from speaking it out loud because it was my sophomore year in high school.  Go ahead, laugh, I do.

Clearly it hasn't lasted, he went his own way after a year and there are some amazingly good reasons that he is gone and I say good riddance. Honestly, when I think of all the tears he wrung out of me in the space of 12 months.  I have married to Darling Husband for almost 17 years now and I cried so much more in the year he was in our life than I have in that whole 17 years.  It was almost like he fed on my tears but I'm getting ahead of myself.  It wasn't all bad, obviously since we kept him around for a year.  As I review the memories that we created, I'll try to draw as fair and complete a picture as I can but it will be colored naturally by my perspective.  And that's the beauty of perspective, its one of the few things that belongs exclusively to ones ownself.

Be well, y'all.